Sallying Forth

To begin this trip at the beginning (which is the only sensible place to start) I left home with the idea of spending one week exploring Canyonlands and, possibly, Arches.  I knew where I wanted to stay the first night (the campground in the Needles District in Canyonlands) and the hike I wanted to do the first day I arrived (a loop around the trails there, about 26 miles in total with a lot of good views).  After that I was just going to see how it went.

I left Tuesday morning and begin driving (most of the trip occurred on I-70).  After some dangerous driving around Vail I made it into Utah and when I finally couldn't stand so much un-photographed beauty I stopped and took some picture from the side of the road.  Normally not my style but the snow certainly added to the the effect.

I made it down past Moab and entered into Canyonlands (a rather slow, curvy, and icy drive).  I stopped part way in to take pictures and to see Newspaper Rock.  Apparently nothing is known about the drawings here other than a rough time frame, but it's quite a collection of them

I arrived in the campground at around 4:30 and set up camp.  Well set-up my tent anyways, it wasn't really conducive conditions to set-up anything else.  I had known that it had snowed some time shortly before the new year and that it was supposed to be cold.  However, with the small amount of moisture that area is supposed to get I thought it would be basically clear of snow (and ice) when I arrived.  That I was wrong proved to be a rather important feature of my trip for good and ill.  At the campsite itself there was probably about 3" on the ground which wasn't that bad.  I set up the tent, put down an army blanket on the floor and covered my sleeping bag with another blanket.

I walked around before sunset (and a little after) to see the area and for something to do.  Every night I stayed in that campground there was always at least one other group, but normally that was it (one night there were two groups).  It was quite beautiful there, even if it was cold.  When I was trudging around I stopped for a moment and heard complete silence.  It was something I'm not accustomed to hearing and it felt strange.  There were no animals around to make noise, no wind, and no one else at the campground (the other group that night arrived right around sunset).  I strained to hear anything to the point that the silence started to sound loud in my ears.  I don't know what that means exactly, but it happened.  Later, at night, it happened again but in the dark the silence sounded normal.  It sounded peaceful:  I do miss that.

The lows were only supposed to get to 10 or 11 on this trip, but it got much colder than that where I was.  I don't know what the official low was but it spent a lot of time around 0 degrees.  Sleeping was fitful, even bundled up as I was.  Ice collected over everything in my tent (including me) and save one night on this trip  I didn't get more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep.  Yet I never really felt overly tired, I guess my body knew what it was doing.  Still, I've spent more comfortable nights.

Fountain

I like water as an example of true Chaos.  I remember waiting for some friends outside a restaurant a while back: sitting outside and watching a fountain gurgle away for 15 minutes.  A lot of my life is taken up with waiting for others when I'm being social so one must learn to take value from those still moments.  The fountain itself told me nothing, yet it acted as a focal point for my thoughts: is that what people mean when they say "we have so much to learn from..."?  Often that's said about things I find it nebulous at best to learn from and I often feel it's because the speaker, lacking wisdom, hopes this platitude will suffice to cover, but perhaps they mean it helps us learn from ourselves.

Well anyways, the fountain proved a perfect demonstration of chaos.  Every path the water took from its apex to its low point was constantly changing.  Any individual part of the water (be it a molecule or a full drop) was entirely unpredictable: no meaningful guess could be made as to which path it would take down the rock face, nor once a path was chosen, which part of that path it flow in.  To predict it would require more computational power than the world has today, and a greater knowledge of the exact properties of that fountain and the surrounding environment than we are even capable of gathering.

Yet for all that, the patterns were clear and certain types of predictions could be made, and with great confidence.  The overall space in which the water had to flow (ignoring the small portion which evaporated) was actually quite limited.  Within that certain paths were dominate, and though their size waxed and waned, and they moved slightly around, they too followed a prescribed course that could be easily described.

Which was the reality of the system?  Was it deterministic, easily categorized and predictable, or was it beyond fathoming: outside the capacity of human intelligence to see before it happened?  The answer, of course, depends on what you find interesting about the fountain.  Are you a spec of water, constantly bounced to and fro by powers you have no control over?  Or are you an outside observer, taking in the beauty of countless drops of water flowing by?

Yet even if you are that drop you can still know certain things, as long as your time-scale is big enough.  You may not know if you will head left or right at the next junction, but after a hundred passes through this system you can certainly limit your possible futures.  You know eventually you will take the leftward course and see the smaller but more frequent drops that come with that course.  And should you head right you can count on the big falls before plunging into the ocean below and slowly circling down to the pump to return once more on your journey.

Certainly if this is allegorical (and on my blog it better be) then we are the drop of water, but what is our time scale?  Do we have enough time in this life to see the patterns and curves, or to be assured of a future in any of them, or is our life span only a few turns in an endless cycle?  In the fountain there are clear bounds placed by the rock walls of the structure: for us that is the forces of intelligence in our lives that have the strength to create lasting impact.  Random events and chance encounters may move us back and forth, and in the right time change us from one route to another.  They do not, however, have the power to limit our actions: they are not long term enough for that.  The two constants in every life is the force of a person's own will and the will of God.  Then we add in other we choose to surround ourselves with long enough to ensure their personal drive will be strong enough to shape our lives.  Parents and friends, husbands and wives, Satan perhaps though we all hope not.  It may be chance that forces us on a path bound by one person or another, but it is that influence that creates the characteristics of our course through life.  Strange attractors those boundaries are called in science.  Not a bad name.

XKCD comics that remind me of me

All material from www.xkcd.com and listed in order of resemblance:
(sorry some are too small to read: click to enlarge)

The Trip to and from Austin

I traveled down to Las Vegas New Mexico the first night and stayed in a hotel there.  The hotel that was featured in No Country for Old Men which was pretty neat but the hotel was exactly as seedy as the movie made it look so there was that too.  The restaurant I ate at was hilarious to me: I felt like I was in a Judd Apatow film the entire time.  It started when I walked in and saw the certificate proudly displaying that the owner was "Les Cox".  I know, very juvenile of me, but that wasn't the end.  A table of incredibly overweight guys who were clearly policemen discussing weaponry they shot in their free time and run-ins they've had manhandling Mexicans.   My waitress who appeared to be 17, very attractive, and slightly dumber than the doorknob she couldn't seem to figure out how to work (it required the application of a torque as it turns out).

The next day I continued on to Carlsbad Caverns at the very South end of New Mexico.  There I stopped to walk down into and out of the main attraction.  It was so much more than I anticipated, or was really capable of imagining.  It's a little over a mile walk into the main cavern itself; the hike seems to be straight down and along the way there are a myriad of amazing sights.  The main cavern is simply past believing and was a wonder to behold.  I took pictures even though I knew it was too dark for any to turn out (there are artificial lights though-out as natural light disappears only a few hundred yards in, but that's no where near enough light).  I've included one picture that doesn't capture any of the true awe of the real thing but was the best I could do without a tripod.

When I got out I drove down to Guadalupe to camp the night there.  I went into the visitor center to check on the weather for the next day and ended up talking with a ranger about my planned trip.  He clearly didn't have a lot of faith in me as he wrote down my plan, address and phone number so he could notify my next of kin when I died in the attempt.

The night was colder than I expected but I got up at 4:15 anyways and began walking (it took an hour to get up, break down my tent, eat breakfast, etc... so I wasn't on the trail until after 5:00).  I hit the top of Guadalupe itself, the tallest point in Texas, just after sunrise.  This was a nice little hike that was entirely on the trail.  Then it was time to crash my way off-trail and hit the other three peaks I had planned for the day. The views from every one were incredible and I got a lot of great pictures (I spared anyone brave enough to read this and made sure to only include one picture per day, but I have the pictures).  However, the off-trail stuff was kind of rough.  Very thick underbrush and I kept getting pulled off the ridge.  Nevertheless I made it through my four peaks and back down without dying (I let the ranger know, I'm not heartless) and then took off for Big Bend.

I didn't make it that night.  I was falling asleep at the wheel so I stayed in a motel a few hours from Big Bend.  A smart move to be sure but a disappointing one as it kept me from doing the long hike I had planned for the next day (~30+ miles).  In fact I didn't get on the trail until 10:30 I had to be back in time to find a camp site and set-up my tent before dark which happened around 5 or 5:30.  In my rush I was not overly sure how long my walk was and left with only the 3L of water in my camelback and a few candy bars for the trip which ended up being several thousand feet of elevation and over 21 miles.  This turned out not to the be the greatest move ever as I ended up 4.5 miles from the end entirely out of water (and with only one terrible tasting doughnut and some musketeers for energy that day).  All that aside the whole day was on trails so it was fast, the views were, again, spectacular.  I'll only force one image on you but I have a plethora on my hard drive now.  I was disappointed that I didn't really capture the openness of the rim I hit, but I still got some good takes and I'll always have my memory.  Big Bend is quite isolated but if there's ever a chance to get down there, it's worth a visit!

The next day I woke around 5 to go for a short, morning hike.  I'm not including any pictures of this one (I double up for my final day) but it was pure pain the whole way.  I had to be sure to be down by 12:00 to make it to the wedding dinner I was supposed to be at that night in San Antonio, which is why I left at 5:00am.  I almost didn't make it.  The hike wasn't that long, and at two thousand feet of elevation shouldn't have been a hard one to complete.  The whole thing was off trail and it was the worst off-trail experience of my life.  All the way up was thickets of bushes, or brambles or things I'd never even seen before filled with prickers and points.  Many were taller than me and I almost turned around close to ten times.  I did make my final destination (stubbornness: I has it) but got very cut up in the process.  Lots of blood all over my body which probably didn't look that great at the semi-formal dinner that night.  Though my guess is that the hiking pants I wore probably distracted everyone there enough to keep them from noticing the puncture wounds...

I spent a long time in Austin, longer than I planned, but it was great to see people again.  Texas just isn't my scene but I do miss people.  Quite a bit actually.

Well I wont dwell on it: I eventually started my return journey.  The plan was to spend some time in Bandelier and do some hiking and camping there.  I drove from Austin to Santa Fe in one day which was fine until right near the end it started snowing pretty hard.  It was only supposed to be 1-3" but it was clearly a lot more.  I spent the night in Santa Fe and woke up to find it was still snowing.  The plan was to take two day-hikes that day, camp off the road by Bandelier and do my long hike the following day.  After that I would asses the situation and decide to stay for some more hiking or return home.

Things were dicey from the get-go with the snow.  I was very worried about pulling off for camping or for a more remote hike and getting stuck.  But I started the day as planned.  I drove to White Rock (by Los Alamos) and did a little jaunt there.  At 9 miles it shouldn't have taken me more than 3 hours even in the snow, but it ended up close to four.  It was pretty and I was glad I did it, but I ended up talking sick with some decent nausea en route and simply lost energy and stamina.  Some combination of spitting, coughing and vomiting will slow me down as it turns out.

I decided to plug along and went down to Bandelier for my second hike.  It was quite beautiful and I've included a couple pictures of that.  However, in Bandelier I found a full foot of fresh snow and it was still falling.  My illness was not disappearing, and so I made a depressing but probably necessary choice: I went home.  I figured being sick and camping in a foot of snow was not going to be worth it.  Especially since the hike I really wanted to do there probably wasn't going to be feasible in a foot of snow anyways.  So this is where my trip ended.  Overall a great trip but a sour final note.

10 Moments from the Rockies 2010 Season

They're ordered and everything but my memory isn't good enough to actually say these are the best of the season, they're just what I remember.  Which makes them pretty biased towards the end of the season of course.
10. The 12 Run Eigth
Setting all sorts of club, league, and baseball records the Rockies plated 12 runs during the eigth inning of a game against the Chicago Cubs.  Constitutive hits, extra-base hits, home-runs, they couldn't be stopped.  This was truly a great moment for any Rockies fan.

9. From 10-1 to 12-10, Rockies Stage a Come-Back
Though not done all in one inning like a later entry on this list, this victory is both incredible on its own and holds a special place in my heart as I was there for it!  In fact you can see me (not very clearly) in the linked video of the final catch which ended the game.

8. Jimenez Sets Rockies Strike-Out Record
Perhaps a bitter-sweet moment, Jimenez fanned 10 this game to set the club's season record for strike-outs, as well as pitching 8 shut-out innings.  Unfortunaley the Rockies couldn't seem to score either so Jimenez was denied his 20th win.

7. Gonzalez Triples to Beat the Giants
In a game of great importance Colorado couldn't seem to get on the board.  The top of the 9th and they'd managed to hold the Giants to just one run, but only an inning left to score themselves.  This may not be the cleanest play of the year but an error and a broken-bat triple were enough to give the Rockies the win that night.  A very exciting moment.

6. Rockie's Nine Run Ninth
Down by six runs in the Ninth, the Rockies refuse to say die.  Seth Smith blasted a 3-run homer after they'd come back to tie, and the Rockies take the game in one of the biggest come-backs ever.

5. Eric Young Goes Behind the Back
This was the first of two, behind-the-back plays Young would make in a week's time.  The play itself is enough for selection but it highlights one of two players on the Rockies that are to be looked for in the coming years for their pure speed.  Whenever Young was up and starting at 2nd this year he easily led the majors in stolen bases.  His teammate, Dexter Fowler, had the most triples this season despite having 430 ABs (as compared to number two on the list who had 600).

4. Chris Nelson's Steal of Home
His first major league steal, Chris Nelson plated the go-ahead, and what proved to be by the next half-inning, winning run himself!  An incredibly exciting moment in an important, end-of-the-year game not to mention an incredibly rare feat: a straight steal of home.  Jim Tracy later said he'd called for the suicide and figured Nelson had just screwed up and went too early (and would certainly be caught).  Nelson said he'd timed the pitcher's delivery and knew he never looked to third once he got set.  However it happened, it's a moment to remember.

3. Tulowitzki's September
In the first 16 games he played his average ran to around .400, he had 34 RBIs, 14 HRs and a slugging percentage in excess of 1.100.  This was, statistically, one of the three greatest Septembers in baseball history (and tied a record for most home-runs in a 15 game strech).  This particular highlight is a favorite of mine as it caps off a 7 RBI game.  More amusingly, after hitting his previous home-run that day over the center-field fence, a fan held up a giant poster-board with a target painted on it under the word 'Tulo'.  This home-run, as you can see, lands about two rows shy of the sign.

2. Ubaldo Jimenez Throws the Rockies First No-Hitter
This was certainly the most impressive, single-game performance of the season.  Though he walked six batters he finished off the game by moving into the stretch and just plain dominating.  His last pitch, which took more than 120 to get to, crossed the plate at 98mph: what an outing!

1. Carlos Gonzalez's Walk-Off Cycle
I don't know why this was my favorite moment of the season.  Perhaps it was because it highlighted one of the greatest, if not the greatest players in baseball today who gets so little attention as a result of playing for the (my) Colorado Rockies.  Perhaps because of the dramatic fashion in which it occurred: bottom of the ninth, walk-off home run off the first pitch he sees.  Or perhaps because it was the hardest hit home-run I've seen in years.  Though it didn't make the longest of this year, it might have it it weren't for the fact that it got stopped by the third (third!) deck.

Cereals

I've been revisiting old friends recently.  It's been years since I really dabbled in breakfast cereals, expense and lack of motivation in the morning.  Now with all sorts of time on my hands and the opportunity to eat cereal whenever I please it's been a nice trip down memory lane.

Honeycombs started it all off , several weeks of craving led to the initial purchase that kicked this journey off.    A little more substance than a lot of other sugary treats and a little less sweet (though only in comparison to be sure).  A wonderful beginning.

After that came Apple Jacks; lets face it, the taste is mostly sugar.  The extra little flavor makes for a nice addition.  And a wonderful transition into Honey Smacks: out and out pandering to the pure sugar crowd.  Perhaps a little too sweet, even for me, it was still fun to dine on.

It's ended up on Crispix, really the only one not baked in glucose.  These tasty treats make me feel a little better about eating them due to the supposed health benefits but it's probably more sham than substance.  I find, eating Crispix I have a rather unique style when they're dry.  I don't know when it started or why but I find myself doing it subconsciously, even after it had been years since I ate it.  My tongue places it vertically between my teeth; then a sharp, swift bite breaks apart to the two sides.  Normally cleanly, at which point I devour them separately.  I wonder why I do that.

"Love Fades" - Woody Allen

I'm always amazed at how quickly my reality becomes a dream.  High school, college, mission, two more times at college.  Within months events that were the focus of my life begin to seem more like stories, images become distorted and the details retreat out of view.  People who were flesh and blood realities fade into phantasms, ghosts haunting my memories.  It used to be they took up physical space, emitted heat and held full conversations with me.  Now they've become rumors I tell myself: my memories are clouded and I can not see clearly.  The intelligence that talked with me, comforted me or was comforted by me is gone.  They're now reduced only to the conversations I can remember: no more can come from them and no new insight can be found.  They're boxed up in a slowly shrinking container.

I guessed four months, which was undoubtedly cynical of me even if true.  Perhaps it was that attitude that did it; but whatever it was it ended up being less than three.  Peripherals vanish immediately of course.  People that were there but held no strong connection.  There was no reason to believe contact would continue afterwards when so little sustained it face-to-face.  I've disappeared from them, and they from me: names going first with faces soon to follow.  Many I wouldn't recognize already and many more will follow that path.  This ends not just memory of the past but chances of the future.  This is no great loss, as clearly the opportunities presented themselves and were not taken due to mutual disinterest.  Friends I never had because I never wanted them, people that never knew me because I was not going to fit into their life anyways.

With others though, the breach becomes a little more painful.  Small moments: passing feelings and thoughts; these things make up a friendship and they quickly vanish out of sight into the past.  Moments of real, emotional intimacy are to go next, true understanding vanishing like so much dust in the wind.  Soon names slip away and those that remain become merely a collection of half-remembered stories and one or two associated characteristics.  It does make me curious: what will my attributes be that those who knew me remember?  When all that can be dredged up is one or two moments of interaction and a basic sense of a person what will be my sense?  Well, no way to know, no way to tell.

Of course this is not the first time, or even the third; perhaps it hurts more now because it's fresh, maybe it hurt every time and I don't remember.  Or maybe because it didn't end in a painful break giving me a fresh start but rather a longing to stay.  Or perhaps it's that I have met no one since and instead have become isolated and alone.  What better environment to remember my past connections than one without any?

Ah well, no use feeling sorry for myself.  I chose to be alone: hoping to move on soon.  Perhaps I still will, one can never know when a potential employer will decide it's time to employ again.  I may not be good at making friends, but I do it anyway.  Or at least I will.

Falling in an Elevator

What to do when you're stuck in an elevator that has had all systems failure including the mechanical breaks? Well according to this article: get on your back! That begs the question: wouldn't an elevator in free-fall be an extraordinarily difficult place to lie down? I mean your center of mass is presumably begining several feet above the floor of the elevator. Once it begins to drop it will (assuming no significant restrictions, and lets face it, it's an elevator plunging) descend exactly as rapidly as you when attempt to fall to the floor. In that brief moment when you remove your feet in an attempt to fall down to the elvator floor you will in fact simply remain with your center of mass equi-distant from the bottom of the elevator only now with your feet removed. Your only hope would be than in displacing the air beneath it the elevator would slow down, while you in an box with the cage pushing the air along with it would not. But the difference would have to be significant enough so as to allow you to drop the few feet down to the floor before the elevator reaches the bottom. Thus the difference in acceleration between you and the elevator must be in proportion to the distance between your center of mass and the elevator floor (with the appropriate geometric factors) greater than the acceleration of the elevator in proportion to the distance it has to fall.

Here''s an interesting look at the elevator problem.  From my perspective the back-up breaking systems tend to work very well and thus if you're actually in free-fall I'd just totally disregard the breaking from the cables and what not since it has to be a pretty decent catastrophe to keep the emergency breaks from kicking in.  If we do that, then all that's left is air resistance.

Basic equation:
d = v*t   + (a*t^2)/2

assuming initial velocity is negligible:
t = sqrt (2*d)/sqrt(a)

Now let's say you'll be falling at the full 9.8m/s/s but the elevator will be falling slower due to air resistance.  Let's say the acceleration difference is 'ar' so the elevator is falling at an acceleration of (9.8-ar)m/s/s.  Now let's discover what ar has to be so that you have hit bottom of the elevator by the time the elevator hits the bottom of the shaft, calling the height of your center of gravity 'cg' and the height your up in the elevator 'h'.

sqrt (2*h)/sqrt (9.8-ar) >= sqrt (2*(cg+h))/sqrt(9.8)

This turns into:

ar >= 9.8-(9.8*h)/(cg+h)


Let's say you're 15 meters up and you center of gravity is 0.75 meters high.  That would result in a necessary air resistance of 0.47m/s/s  Of course a major problem there is the assumed constant, de-acceleration from the air resistance which would not be the case.  Quick back of the envelope calculation shows that the speed half-way through the descent is about 9m/s.  If you trust the math and base assumption in the above link then the air resistance at a constant velocity of 9m/s is 0.8m/s/s.  So in this example you would be OK.  Note that the total time of drop here is about 1.8 seconds, and it would take the majority of that time for you to go from your standing position to ground: a rather odd sensation one imagines.  Of course if you hit the ground and the elevator hits its ground at the same time you've done just made it worse by removing the effect of the cushioning the slightly slower drop the air resistance gave you.  Hopefully being on your back compensates!

Some calculations to find the break even height of drop if your cg was one meter above the elevator floor:

h+1 = 9.8/2*t^2
v_avg = 9.8/2*t
ar = 1*1*10*v_avg^2/1000
ar = 9.8-9.8*h/(h+1)

That give you a break-even at about 13.1 meters.  I'd want time to spare and not hit at coincident times so I'd say 15 meters but the minimal effect of air resistance on end speed probably isn't that big a deal at this point.  As a reference, 13-15 meters translates into 43 to 49 feet, or at typical 12 foot stories, that's around four floors.

Safety in Following the Prophets - Notes for a talk

Bednar, Things to act and be acted upon (2nd Nephi 2:14).

How does one become a moral agent? What separates those who act from those who are acted upon? What do we need to become a moral agent?

Control over out choices
D+C 58:28 For the power is in them [men], wherein they are agents unto themselves...

Knowledge of the impact of our choices
Hel 14:30 ...ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free.

A destination towards which we may aim
Heb 11:16 But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God...

D+C 13:6 ...there is no gift greater than the gift of salvation.

The purpose of Apostles, Eph 4

Elder Scott [Speaking of the doctrine of the Atonement]" They must be more than principles you memorize. They must be woven into the very fiber of your being as a powerful bulwark against the rising tide of abomination that infects our world.

Heb 8:10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people...

2nd Cor 3:3 Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.

Our life's path is a reflection of our inner self

Some nights ago I noticed a moment right before I went to bed.  I had turned off my computer and all the lights on the bottom floor.  I began walking to the stairs and at one particular step my foot had left the ground and my body reached apex: no acceleration provided from my landed foot, no change in force.  At 2:00am I was no longer aware of any sound: I'm sure it was there but it was either the wrong frequency or of too low an amplitude to register for me.

So I wonder, what connected one point in time with the next?  Forgetting the question of finite time, how far down do we go before we reach a point of time which exists independent of the surrounding moments?  If there is no stimuli coming in, no sound or light or feeling what is it that links the moments together?  How do we know when time has moved forward and we've arrived in the present?  How can we connect where we are now with where we've come from?  That can range anywhere from adolescent questions of time displacement to something slightly more profound.  How is a moment defined?  Was it good or bad?  Can that be determined without the context of the moments to follow it, or those which proceeded it?

If any of those times are removed from our lives, what is left?  We create a true disconnect between times and at some point our past and future selves ares no longer linked in a four dimensional creation.  Does that remove the moral association as well?  Or is this the type of thing you wonder about after smoking too much pot in your philosophy 101 class?